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Why do we fail to help others?

Hello friends! This is Mohanji.

Today, I would like to answer a question from a young man. “How do you make other people successful when you have lots of things to do?”

Well, it’s a beautiful question. I liked it. It is because making other people successful – that’s a very big thought. To be honest with you, I never thought of it that way. I did not think I am making other people successful. I made this platform called Mohanji and so many people are finding fulfillment with this and I would like to attribute it to the Tradition. I always attribute everything to the Tradition. I do not take any ownership.

Having said that, where do we start? It’s a big question, right? We have to start somewhere. We have to help ourselves. We have to be stable to hold the hands of another person; who’s probably looking for help or maybe he may have not explored himself, in any way. We can guide a person to himself or we can give guidance to those who need guidance; all these are possible. Anyway, everything is fine.

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I was looking at how did I help myself? So, I went back to my own life; my childhood, my youth, my working time – working in a company, at these times, what was l doing? I was helping myself. I was basically helping myself and in the bargain, I might have helped others. But what are we doing actually in life? This question we should always ask. It’s a very important question. I was looking at this whole perspective in a very logical way; not spiritually but just logically. The building-up stage, I have received a lot of assistance; we all have – from our parents, from the teachers, from everybody.

So many factors have built us up. This being which we call ‘us’ today have a lot of background. There has been a lot of support from many people. First of all, starting from your mother because a mother has always nine months more relationship with you than anybody else in the society; you stayed in her stomach for nine months before you came out into the society. So, a mother has a deeper connection. Starting from a mother, step by step, stage by stage, we have received a lot of help from the people, from society, from the environment, from nature.

All our aspirations, all our feelings, all our emotions have something to do with something. It’s not just stand-alone. So, if you look at this large canvas of who helped us, we will have to say so many things; uncountable, you don’t know even how to count. It’s been so many. And it will give you a lot of wonders. My God! All these years we have walked on Earth but we never acknowledged anybody, any being. We took almost everything for granted. We never appreciated deeply. Are we right? Probably we have appreciated partially, selectively; that’s all fine. But have we really understood and appreciated? That makes a difference here. We complain, “Oh, this is not right, that is not right. People are not okay. They’re not giving me enough” etc. But have we started appreciating everything that has happened to us.

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Everything has contributed; what you are today is a total of all these contributions and experiences; good experiences, bad experiences, everything together. We have understood life. We have understood people in whichever capacity because of all these experiences. Isn’t this wonderful? It’s really wonderful. Then, you reach a level of maturity where you start giving what you have to others; your experience, your time, your love, your money, what you have in abundance. Whatever you have in abundance, you would like to share because you realize that this makes you happier. This is happiness. This makes you happier, this makes you more purposeful. This is life. At that point in time, we don’t look back, we go ahead. Okay, this is what it is.

Likewise, we are born into a family. But do we have a family? Do we really have a family? This question should be asked. Why did we not have a family? It is because we never accepted ourselves in the first place. So, we have to help ourselves. Only when we help ourselves, we can help the world. Only when we accept ourselves, we can accept others. So, it is all about us; how we handle ourselves. If we handle ourselves with anger, disappointment, insecurity, so many factors which pulls us down, then we will handle the world the same way. The world is just a reflection; it’s like a mirror. What you see outside will be this. When we blame somebody else, understand we are actually blaming ourselves. Because we can’t blame ourselves and get away with it, we blame other people and in that bargain, you spoil a relationship. We compare, why do we compare? Those who compare are heavily insecure. Those who are really secure, those who are very happy, very contented with oneself will never compare. There’s nothing to compare. You appreciate another person, not compare.

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So, when we compete, it’s the same thing. We have some deficiency. We feel that we are not up there. So we try to compete with another; to beat that person in a certain game, in certain aspects of life. And then we feel good. But look at this whole thing. Are we really happy with all this? Never! We are never contented. We become contented only when we become helpful in the world. That gives us perpetual peace. That gives us contentment. That’s very important to remember. So, when we try to help others, when we decide, “I would like to help the world spontaneously”, automatically, we’re helping ourselves and we are stabilizing ourselves. We are being stable; we are being purposeful. So, helping others is spontaneous when you are already stable. You can see that in the world.

Most of the people who are at a great level of awareness, they are always available to the world. They don’t sit at home and have personal enjoyments. Those who are insecure and sometimes those who have not accepted themselves, those who have not helped themselves, or those who have not really groomed themselves, beyond the competitions and comparisons, they have to do that first. They are not available to the world because they are leading a selfish life. They do not agree with people, they do not accept people, they do not really love people. But they expect love. Can you get love when you don’t give love? You can’t. You get only what you give. This is the way the world is made. So we have to understand, we have to look within and we have to find ourselves. And that platform which I think I have provided, that is my biggest contribution; a platform where you can find yourself and you can express yourself freely. It’s not behind somebody, ahead of somebody, it’s together with everybody.

So this is something which I would like to give you as food for thought. Why do we fail to help others? Try to find the answer. Go within, look within, contemplate. And see what makes you not help others, or what makes you compare with others. What makes you compete with others? Understand that this is all sitting within us. You don’t have to do any of this. We are unique. We have all the power, all the facilities that existence can ever provide. And we are unique, absolutely unique. This is the thought I would like to leave you with until I see you next time. Ponder over it, discuss among yourselves. Try to build something out of it. Try to build a structure out of it. All the things I’m giving you are to improve yourself and your standards of living. I would like to leave you with this. Wish you a great day and time and I’m always with you.

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Transcribed by Ulla Bernholdt

Proofread by Rekha Murali

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