{"id":8781,"date":"2020-08-03T05:40:28","date_gmt":"2020-08-03T05:40:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/qawithmohanji.wordpress.com\/?p=8781"},"modified":"2023-12-11T07:08:01","modified_gmt":"2023-12-11T07:08:01","slug":"accept-yourself-trust-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mohanji.org\/blogs\/satsangs\/mohanji-podcasts\/accept-yourself-trust-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"Accept yourself – Trust yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Welcome to Mohanji Speaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My friends, we have spoken about so many things in the past few days. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today, I would like to speak to you about a real-life incident that happened in my life, about 15 years ago; I was not known as Mohanji at that time.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I met one guy, a very, very successful businessman, and also a model. He has also acted in films. Very handsome, very successful, has his own yacht, various cars, and so many things. I met him at a party, and he somehow liked me and he said, \u201cCan I speak to you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

So we fixed a time, and then he picked me up from my office. He drove the car, and I was sitting in the car, a very, very expensive car. We went to the seaside and we sat in an isolated cafe. I ordered a juice; he ordered some drink, and we were sitting just looking at the sunset. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn’t bring up any conversation, as usual, I kept quiet; most of the time I don’t talk. So, I kept quiet. And he asked me, out of the blue without any introduction, \u201cYou’re a chronic introvert, aren’t you?\u201d I said, \u201cYes!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(He said,) \u201cMe too, I can’t speak to people.\u00a0 I don’t know how to interact with people. Whatever I am showing in this world outside, is just to camouflage my helplessness; I am always helpless. What I liked in you is, you have tremendous strength in your eyes. When I looked at your eyes, I felt a lot of strength. Somewhere, is a will of steel or something like that; but you looked very vulnerable in this whole party. I didn’t come and talk to you easily; then I kept looking at you and I realized that I must talk to you. So that’s how I came to you.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then he started telling me his story. <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A broken family, sexual abuse in childhood; he couldn’t speak to anybody. He had wealth<\/a>, his parents had wealth, but most of the wealth was stolen by his own uncles. He was humiliated in school, bullied in school; his girlfriend, first girlfriend, he had a girlfriend at the age of 15, and she cheated on him, cheated in the sense, she just went away without telling him. Like that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He had a series of troubles and problems to say, and he started crying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"two
PC: Google images<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Luckily, we were the only two people in that small cafeteria; and nobody was looking at us, so it was easier. And he said, \u201cYou know what, I didn’t have anybody to talk to. I went to a few counselors. I tried to talk to some religious people, and they only gave me some kind of solutions like, you do this offering in this church, go to this place or that place. But nothing worked. Basically, I’m still crying inside. Many times, I thought of committing suicide. To the outside world, I\u2019m very rich; I have a lot of wealth. I have organizations, people are working for me, but I’m so insecure; I don’t know how I live another day.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then he said, \u201cYou know what, whenever I look at myself; I see ugliness. I do not feel that I’m worth it; I have a very, very big problem with my self-esteem. I have complexes; I’m hiding all of that with my money, and with certain things which will camouflage me from all this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I’m really afraid of the world. <\/h4>\n\n\n\n

I’m really afraid of the people; I fear that they will hurt me. I have relationships, but I’m afraid of women. I feel they will betray me; I can’t trust anybody. I don’t know who to trust. I don’t know who to believe, to be with. I have a big ocean of friends, as you saw, but they are not my friends. They are just like acquaintances. And I don’t feel anything for anybody; I am pretty lonely.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I did marry twice; it didn’t work, I left it. I do have friends and girls; I do have relationships; I do have sexuality, but I don’t trust myself. I don’t trust anybody; I don’t trust my wealth; I don’t trust any of the things I have, my companies, nothing! I have literally picked up myself from a disaster situation where my uncles were taking away our wealth when my parents died. And I built up everything from ashes, but I did build up. But I don’t feel proud, I don’t feel anything.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was an utter sorry state. How to respond? How to react? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to make him accept himself, which was a big question mark. <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

He has already been to the most expensive consultants of the world; mood changers, game-changers, motivational people; he’s been everywhere. And he couldn’t really get anything out of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He said, \u201cI had various experiences with various people, I paid immense money for that. It was only for some time; there was no transformation inside<\/strong>.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I asked him, \u201cHow do you think I can make a difference? I’m a chronic introvert. I’m not a motivational speaker; I\u2019ve never motivated people that way. I lead a life of purity and honesty as much as possible. I have my vulnerabilities. I’m also afraid of the crowd because the crowd has hurt me; people have betrayed me just like you said. How do you think I can help you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then he said, \u201cOne thing we have in common; you are an introvert, I am an introvert, so we can understand each other. I don’t need a solution right now. I’m not asking you for a solution, but I’m just asking you for some clarity.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, I said, <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe clarity is you. That’s it!\u201d <\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

He said, \u201cThat’s it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(I said), “Yes, that’s it. It’s you.\u00a0Whatever you think you are, that’s exactly what you’re experiencing.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(He asked,) \u201cSo, how do I make a difference?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said, \u201cThrough acceptance. The past has to be put in its place, buried if possible.\u201d\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then he asked, \u201cHow do I trust people?\u201d\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I said, \u201cTrust yourself, that’s only the only person you need to trust. <\/strong>Outside people are outside people, you have them and you do not have them. It’s basically you. When you are awake, you have them. When you’re not awake, when you’re sleeping, you don’t have them. So there is only one person you need to trust, it is you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He asked me, \u201cIs it that simple?\u201d\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said, \u201cI think so.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He asked me, \u201cHow do you handle your life?\u201d <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I said, \u201cI don’t want to bring my story to you now, because you’ve been telling your story, which was quite intense, so why should I tell you mine?\u201d He said, “No, no tell, I want to hear!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, I told a bit about \u2018the tragedies\u2019 I experienced in my life<\/a>: neglected childhood kind of thing, a bit of feeling unwanted, then difficult to position as an introverted person in the society; and then being forcefully extroverted with activities just to prove to myself; \u00a0and of course, finding some success there as well. \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then lack of direction, lack of goals, lack of vision, a kind of abandoned state in youth. Then jobs, some success, a lot of hard work, working hours and hours, self-destructive levels of working, and finally, finding some success in work – recognition. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Betrayals in work, competition, jealousy, those kinds of things. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then a marriage that didn’t work, loss of a child, loss of property, loss of wealth, loss of job, and physical ailments. Then trusting people; they betraying, stabbing from behind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Giving everything to people to make them happy; because I believed that it’s my responsibility to make everybody happy who loves me, and they took it for granted. Some people literally betrayed using the trust that I had in them. All these things, it’s been a strange life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Accept<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I said, \u201cI have always been alone. I walked alone. And whenever I felt people were trying to own me, I ran away.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He said, \u201cYes, I did the same. I’m afraid of people owning me. This is what I wanted to talk to you. I don’t like people owning me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said, \u201cBecause nobody can own us. It’s not a problem; it\u2019s not a fault. You cannot own anybody nor can anybody own us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes! Yes! Yes! That makes sense to me!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said, \u201cYes, that’s the truth.\u201d Then he said, \u201cWhat else?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said, \u201cIt’s you. It’s you and you and you! I don’t exist for you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He looked into my eyes, “What do you mean?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said, \u201cYou\u2019re seeing me now. After four or five hours, where am I? Where are you? You don’t even know where I’m living, do you? We have no guarantee we will meet again. Do you think so? Do you believe it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He said, \u201cYes, yes, there is a possibility we may not meet again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Trust<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

And I said, \u201cThat\u2019s a reality. What is my value in your life right now? I’m just pointing one finger to you. I am telling you to look at yourself. You are beautiful.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trust yourself<\/strong>. <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You can only trust yourself. Don’t betray yourself. You cannot trust the world. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The world has its highs and lows, ups, and downs. The world has its moods, its ethics, its character, consciousness, and levels of acceptance.\u00a0Nothing can be guaranteed from this world<\/strong>. But we saw all our insecurities; all of our complexes, all our fears. We have seen them, we experienced them, and we are experiencing them, even now. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Look into my eyes closely, what do you see?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Mohanji's<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

He said, \u201cMy own reflection.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said, \u201cThat\u2019s the only truth. You are alive, you exist. That’s all you need to know. Now let’s go. Let’s part.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

By that time, it was about 7 pm. He said, \u201cI’ll drop you.\u201d I said, \u201cYes, just drop me at the bus stop, I’ll catch a bus.\u201d He drove me to the bus stop. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

While traveling he said, \u201cI want to give you something. I asked him, \u201cWhat?\u201d \u201cA cheque!\u201d he said. I asked, \u201cFor what?\u201d \u201cFor giving me time, and I feel good; I\u2019m sure I will change. Thank you for your time.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then he wanted to give me a blank cheque. He said you can write your amount. It doesn\u2019t matter. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said, \u201cThank you. I don’t need your cheque; thank you for the drink, thank you for the time we are together. When you want, you come; but don’t come, I would say, you find yourself if you can<\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then he told me, \u201cOne day I will come to you; that time, you will own me.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I laughed and I said, \u201cI can’t own anybody. Not even myself.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He said, \u201cNo! One day, I will come to be with you, to work with you. I know you will become famous; I can see that in your eyes. I have this acumen for knowing people because I do business. I know you will become very rich, very powerful one day. You will be famous. I’ll be with you at that time.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said, \u201dThank you.\u201d \u00a0And we parted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope you enjoyed this story. Think about it. This is our life too. All the best.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Accept<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Transcribed by Ulla Bernholdt<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Proofread by Padmini Ravikumar & Shyama Jeyaseelan<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Subscribe to Mohanji Speaks<\/a> daily podcast<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am telling you to look at yourself. You are beautiful.\u00a0Trust yourself. You can only trust yourself. Don’t betray yourself. You cannot trust the world. The world has its highs and lows, ups, and downs. The world has its moods, its ethics, its character, consciousness, and levels of acceptance.\u00a0Nothing can be guaranteed from this world.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":20958,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[2907],"tags":[3110,2859,2977,3889,3061,3890,2820,2821,2916,3094,2987],"class_list":["post-8781","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mohanji-podcasts","tag-accept","tag-acceptance","tag-clarity","tag-complexes","tag-fear","tag-introvert","tag-mohanji","tag-mohanji-speaks","tag-podcasts","tag-relationships","tag-trust"],"yoast_head":"\nAccept yourself - 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