by Ulla Bernholdt, Denmark
I want to share my personal experience during the six-day program of Shivaratri 2021, which I feel transformed me and has led me to higher awareness.
The program consisted of different modules led by Mohanji Acharyas, including daily blog reading, chanting, homa, Conscious Gapless Breathing, meditation and experience sharing leading up to Mohanji’s satsang on Shivaratri and a 12-hour live Homa from his home. In one of the scheduled zoom calls, Mohanji Acharya Sjarn read a Mohanji blog about Shiva, a blog that I have read before and may have understood from a mental point of view.
But this time, I felt different. While listening, I could feel Mohanji’s energy very tangibly inside me moving up my spine to the top of my head. I spontaneously began to see inside my head the different teachers and Masters that I have connected with and all the different processes that I have practised at different stages in my life. It then dawned upon me that the driving force, the connection and the source of all experiences behind them were Shiva.
Shiva is the red thread connecting all the beads from seemingly quite different processes I have encountered – from Christ to Zen to Mohanji’s Consciousness – just to mention a few. The scattered pieces of a puzzle began to synthesize. The energy and joy rising from that realisation were almost uncontainable. I had been searching for the One – the indivisible, and Shiva had been there all the time! Oh, what joy!
Actually, I was not home while listening to that zoom call. I was riding my bicycle while trying to concentrate on listening to every word at the same time. There I was in the middle of the road and the daily business as usual, and it seemed a bit surreal to me, compared to the feeling I had inside of elevation and expansion, feeling overjoyed, ecstatic, and immensely grateful to Mohanji and the Tradition. I felt like flying! The scene reminded me of the one in a feature film: E.T, riding the bike in the air, do you remember it?
I have been meandering through many rivers (following many different paths), and in a split second, during the reading of Mohanji’s blog, I found myself in a place where all the rivers come together.
I felt I was watching the source of the rivers, the Sangam where rivers meet, and the sea where they end, all at the same time. To me, Mohanji is such a place. Because he encompasses all aspects in every one of us, every state we are in and every stage of our evolution, and he responds accordingly, allowing us to have our individual expression and course. Many a time, I have heard him answering people according to their mode. Once, we were taking a dip with him in the Ganges’ holy waters during a Himalayan retreat, and a person asked if the Ganges really is that sacred or if it is just a symbolic representation, a myth? Mohanji answered that it is…