I arrived to the MCB in pieces, like a broken-down car with a flat tire, broken headlight, and bumper dragging behind. I was tired and drifting in my life, not able to do much due to emotions and ownerships paralyzing me.

On the first day, Mohanji’s love and protection, along with the experience of Homa and Devi’s afternoon program, gave me the strength to heal. The guidance from these experiences showed me how I was whole – and could feel so again. I felt like a pillar of light, extending far into the sky and below, far into the earth. The masks I’d worn to protect myself were destroyed in the Homa fire.

The next day, the Stability program and love shared by the women’s circle led me to release my fear, guilt, grief, and confusion. The vulnerability I was trying to hide was revealed to be strength and courage, exposed to everyone at the MCB. The loving supportive atmosphere of MCB, from the Mohanji family, along with nourishing meals lovingly prepared, gave me courage to be me and love myself.

The weekend preparing and witnessing the Prana Pratishta was enlightening. My consciousness couldn’t take it all in, yet I was filled – like a satisfied cat. My friends, who shared this with me, were sweet beautiful surprises. I hadn’t even dared hope for healing, as I wanted to avoid expectations and disappointment, but what I found was beyond what I could have anticipated. The women I’ve found friendship with are spectacular treasures I’ll guard with my heart and support with my gifts. As the saying goes, some were old friends and many new – better than gold and silver.

During the second week, the silence became familiar. A vision of my purpose unfurled like a map with Mohanji’s clear guidance. There are destinations and uneven terrain ahead – and I feel like an adventurer setting out on the journey of a lifetime. My healing and patterns came into sharp relief, and my conviction and strength rose to the challenge. My past patterns were revealed, allowing me to face returning to my life and work, fully the conscious and looking forward to waking up every day ready to work on projects I love.

Who knew – 13 years ago, when I first met Lata and Ganesh and then Mohanji– that I’d be here? 

Who knew that anticipating baby mini highland cows would motivate me to stop my feet (figuratively) and invoke my Mama Bear energy to find Krishna’s might? I suspect Mohanji knew. I’m always and forever grateful.

It’s easy to think people speak in hyperbole about His foresight, but I have one more experience to share that is undeniable for me: all those years ago, during all those “Power of Purity” meditations, when Mohanji said “… you are sitting in a beautiful place. Very peaceful. You are very comfortable…” I couldn’t think of a place that I had visited that fit the description. This week, I found the place I visualized: it is near the MCB. The lodging where I spent most of the week has a water feature that I imagined over a decade ago. Years ago, I spent hours meditating in that place. This week I have found that beautiful place, very peaceful, and comfortable. While I thought the place was outside of me, even though I have now found it in the world, I know – without a doubt – that it is inside me.

I left the MCB whole, ready, blessed – eager to see what comes next. I am a vessel filled, shaken and tamped-down full – in love with my beautiful, radiant self, reflecting Mohanji’s love.