Follow your Heart, follow your Conscience

Hello, my dear friends. I hope you are doing well.

I was discussing with a friend of mine from the past many years ago when I was probably in my late teens or early 20s. The discussion was about what I’m doing in the world.

His question was, “Why did you leave a career which you built up over 22 years?” I said, “It’s very simple; the level of satisfaction that I was getting from my repetitive activity was much less than investing my time for something positive in the world. The other one was an activity, which was quite lucrative, it was paying, and I was probably very happy. But the satisfaction level was different.”

He is still working, and he asked, “What’s the way out?” I said, “Determination, and just that kind of strong urge to get out of your comfort zone and plunge into the unknown.” It can go positive, or it can become negative. We don’t know. But if you really feel that you can do something much different and more satisfying, even if it is uncertain, or even if it is hard work, or even if it is hardship, it’s fine because that will take you forward.

Our problem is usually that we are so used to comfort zones, and many of our relatives or families or dependents depend on it. We are afraid to come out of it because we think ten times about the pros and cons, and finally, we won’t take action. We allow the comfort zone to continue. I said that’s probably the reason why I decided to take a plunge here.

He asked me, “What are the repercussions you experienced?” I said, “One of the main things I experienced is many of my old contacts disappeared because they were just connections based on a profession, or a situation or a position, that disappeared and completely vanished. Many of my past friendships just vanished.” I tried to rejuvenate some of them, but they wouldn’t come back because they can’t see me in a different atmosphere, doing a different thing, or following a different passion; they can’t see me like that.

It’s not my handicap; it’s not my problem because I decided to pursue something so totally different from what I used to do all these years. Definitely, there was nothing I could have done about it. Of course, I didn’t call up everybody and say that I’m leaving this profession and stuff like that. Many of them thought that I would continue in the profession.

I did try for that, I had a kind of a partnership company, and I tried to continue in my profession because I had tremendous contacts, and people trusted me. But the person whom I trusted the company with took it away, speaking badly about me and stuff like that, which is history. That was his way of doing it.

Anyway, my profession is totally deleted, and a new activity started. Many people who actually connected to me, I felt that they have some kind of an ego barrier. First of all, many of them cannot accept or appreciate that I chose to follow my passion, or I chose to do something totally different and intangible and uncertain in life, almost like a suicide, which means exiting a profession which is paying to something which we don’t know about. It’s suicidal for many people, and they wouldn’t really want to be part of it or even support it in a way.

Some of the earliest supporters I lost because they thought that I’m crazy. Another aspect is that some of them had ego issues to connect to me, and they said, “Oh, that’s not my philosophy!” or that “You’re trying to say something which is intangible and immeasurable.” They didn’t want anything to do with it, so they left as well. Then there are certain people who later on, found that I have a certain popularity, and I do things in the world, in many countries and stuff like that. Ego rose in them. Some of them called and said, you know what, we can’t look at you as what you are today, but if you like to have a connection like before, we can continue.

I never ever disowned my past. You should never disown your past. You should know where you started from, what you have done in the past, (that’s all past), and it is part of our reality. I never disowned it. I maintained some of the friendships on their terms, which means I just followed them to maintain these relationships. I never intended to cut off all my past relationships, nor I’m ashamed of my past, or I have any wrong feelings or disrespect about my past. I respect my past; my past made me, all these experiences have come in handy, and I also learnt a lot from the life I lived, so I have great respect.

Everything helped, so much of hardships I experienced which taught me lessons. Some of these great friendships which I had, were all situational. When I had a position, when I had these contacts which they liked, they were with me. When I didn’t have them, they left. When you change your track, sometimes these situational friendships just vanish. Then you realize who will be with you for sure. That was a big lesson for me.

This friend of mine was asking me, “What did you lose?” I said, “I think I lost nothing.” Of course, I thought I lost the comfort of a regular income, the security connected to it that way. I think I didn’t have that kind of satisfaction; There was always pressure, corporate business, work schedules, travels, all those things. I don’t regret all that because my age was also in my favour those days, in my 20s and 30s and even my 40s. But I had to come out of it at some point in time because there is a thing called retirement.

Now, I don’t have retirement. I said, “I would like to continue to do something until I drop dead.” This is what I’m looking at now. And so many people are there, and new friendships have come powerful friendships, reliable friendships, trustworthy people.

I was thinking about the man who snatched the business, which I started with him and thought he had done the right thing. At some point in time, he will also feel that that was a mistake. Sooner or later, it will happen. But I’m not looking at it. I’m not even worried about it because I have my integrity, and there is a saying in the Bible:

The cost or the price of sin is death. Death here is the death of Conscience. When Conscience dies, we die because the person is lifeless.

Conscience is very important, as an immune system to protect our mind. This is one of the things which I always thought, and I always lived by in my past, and even now, I have kept my Conscience intact. In that manner, I have no regrets.

Nothing has changed. Of course, I plunged into the uncertainty, the security connected to salaries and stuff, and all the other provisions which the company gives when you have a job. Apart from that, I think I have made the right decision to help the helpless of the world, to add value to the world. That gives much more satisfaction. I’m sure the people working with me on this will also feel the same; great satisfaction that money can’t buy.

I leave you with these thoughts, and we’ll discuss further on this. Actually, there has been a continued discussion, but I thought I will share this with you because this is a bit of insight into my other life, a life beyond what I’m doing now.

So, I wish you a great day ahead. Great times ahead, and we’ll talk more.

This is Mohanji for you.

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Transcribed by Ulla Bernholdt
Proofread by Rekha Murali