Interview with Snezana Dakic (Serbian TV personality) on Instagram IGTV – Part 2
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Question: How did you decide to give up luxury, wealth and success and turn yourself into yourself?
Mohanji: Well, that was simple, it was not a difficult decision, but of course, people said that you’re crazy; why are you leaving everything you created over 22 years. But at that point in time, I was thinking about what gives me satisfaction, very simple. The things that money can buy may not give you satisfaction forever. So, I chose to have greater satisfaction in my life.
I think that everybody should ask this question at some point in time in their life. Once you have achieved something, or what you wanted to achieve, then you should ask, “Am I really happy?” So, mostly what answer we get is, we are not too happy often with what we have achieved. We may have achieved material success or friends or possessions or positions, but they may not give you satisfaction. But I started feeling that if I’m delivering more to this world within my capacity, that brings me more happiness and satisfaction.
For example, if we live on this Earth for about 30,000 days, that is about 80+ years, we must ask ourselves what we are here for and what makes us happy. We deserve to be happy. We deserve happiness. And if we are not happy with what we do in life, it’s not worth it. It’s not eating, drinking, sleeping and dying; it’s much, much more. I did not have any problem leaving the job I was doing for 22 years, and people thought that I’m crazy because what they thought of as success was not a success for me anymore. They thought of success as material richness, a car, a house, or a position or relation. But for me, success was in what I could give to this Earth, not what I take from the Earth.
Question: You’re definitely giving a lot to people who feel lost and actually in everything they have. And, as you say, sometimes you can have everything and still feel empty and find no purpose, and that’s why we are all here because purpose also changes with age.
So, who are the real friends, and how do we know someone is a real friend?
Mohanji: Real friends need nothing from you. They are here because they love you. The simple reason for being a good friend is to love the person unconditionally and not have many expectations. True friends will have fewer expectations. But usually, we get friendships that are transactional. They love you because of some reason. Maybe because you are popular, maybe because you are rich or maybe because you are something, but that’s not real friendship, because if something changes, they go away.
So, real friendship is friends who need nothing from you. They love you for what you are. This is very important in our life because having a couple of good friends means a lot. They are worth it. I mean, they are priceless. You cannot even compare them with money or any other thing, and we must be true friends to other people also. We should love somebody without expecting anything back. Just because we are existing, we should use our space and time to love people unconditionally. That makes us richer; it make us more meaningful; it makes us valuable.
Question: What do you think about why our relationships, love relationships and marriages are unsuccessful. There is a permanent battle of genders. I think maybe equality brought that because, you know, when we’re just debating probably, you know, there was no problem or the problems are not discussed. But nowadays, people really struggle to stay with each other and yet they need each other. Do they actually need each other? That’s also the second question.
Mohanji: Some of them are rooted in insecurity because we feel that, when we are insecure, somebody else can fill that gap. Maybe not true because we are probably connecting to somebody more insecure. That means it may not work. The reason for most of the failures is possessiveness, ownership. And if you have less ownership about relationships, the more successful you will be in relationships. The more freedom you give to your friends or family, that much love and bonding will happen in life.
Question: Can you say what that freedom actually means because people mix it up? What is it actually?
Mohanji: The freedom that I’m talking about is the freedom to be ourselves, which means each of us is unique; each of us has our aspirations. When the same food is kept on the table, each person will take the food, which he likes, or she likes to eat. So, we have our flavours; we have our likes and dislikes; we have our uniqueness. This has to be accepted. Even in schools or even colleges, or in society, we do not usually accept the uniqueness of people, and that’s why there are conflicts, wars, and disagreements. But freedom means accepting a person as they are.
Question: And let them be who they are, not trying to change because people usually try to make you do something else.
Mohanji: You can’t change people, because it’s like a model of a car which you can only modify but you cannot change; like you’re born at a particular time, you die at a particular time, all these things are unchangeable. Your heartbeat, circulation and respiration are all spontaneous; you’re not controlling them. So, understand that we cannot control too many factors of our life. So, it’s very important that we love somebody without expectations and allow them the full freedom to be themselves. The moment you give that freedom to people, the relationship will stay forever. The success or the longevity of a relationship depends on how much freedom you give to the other. If you own a person, if you’re trying to be possessive, you’re controlling a person, that relationship has a very fragile existence.
Question: But people sometimes I think, don’t get that some problems will pass. When they meet problems and some person, for example, he is himself, but he is depressed, or he has some problem with his work or whatever and his health, and he changes. You know, why do partners have no patience, and why do they not wait and help that person overcome?
Mohanji: That’s usually because the purpose is unclear for togetherness. One person and would have connected to another because they liked something in the other or maybe some fascination, some infatuation or attraction. But to sustain that attraction, to sustain that feeling, you need to have a great purpose of working together, which means after the meeting, what brings you further momentum to live the life together should be a very large purpose. It should not be just a house and children or something like that, because then what happens is the energy and the charm is lost very rapidly. And then, to continue with that relationship, you don’t have anything else to hold on to. That’s why sometimes, relationships do not last.
We need to have a clear purpose and a larger purpose, like a great philosophy. Even simple things such as I would like to make a big difference in the world because of my life; I am a great personality by birth, and I would like to express this personality to the world and make a positive difference in the world. Those kinds of things can really bring people together to a larger level of fulfilment, and they stay together. Such things will help people stay together, work together, develop together, and have a great life well-lived.
Thank you, Mohanji, for these answers. Thank you.
Mohanji: Thank you.
Transcribed by MEA Office
Proofread by Rekha Murali