Your Strengths Lead You

Satsangs from Serbian Retreat with Mohanji, 9-14th May, 2014

Q: In my case, difficult situations in life didn’t strengthen me or made me grow spiritually, but they pushed me even lower, almost disabling me. For example, I cannot do yoga, I have difficulty to meditate… I feel that fear totally controls me. I went through hardships, my father died, I lost my job, everything happened in a moment and I remained totally frozen. 

Then such heavy emotions started overflowing. I try to hold on something. Job is not a good idea, they threaten me every day, situation in the country is discouraging, too. I can’t find my peace. I try to connect to you, but it seems that these are all much stronger. Why would I choose that?

A: Because of lack of awareness. It’s getting repeated. That’s why I said, purva samskara (past or past life impressions) come back again and again. Whatever you have trapped inside gets repeated in life. If you keep this as your single-pointed intention during this retreat, things can change. 

What you cannot do yourself, you can do collectively. If the intention is very clear, it has to manifest. But clarity should be there. Absolute clarity, “That is what I want to be.’’ When that clarity is there, things will happen. Otherwise it’s a mixture, always a mixture. 

We collect various things from various places. We collect from the fiction films, television, people, society, education, religion, from everything. And we mix it up completely, so we get a confused result. But you can have clarity, you have every right to have clarity. Keep a single-pointed intention that total cleansing will happen this time, and keep that intention clear, see how it happens.

I have power to change, but I do not have authority to change a person without the free will of the person. On the white path, it’s always free will. If you are ready to let go, we can help. But free will and Karma are never intercepted or interfered into. No manipulation is allowed.

Q: Why doesn’t the highest materialize more often in the actual world?

A: First of all, stop production of negativity. Production also means accumulation. I’ve written two blogs, Who is Afraid of the Truth 1 & 2 where I’m covering one of these aspects. Negativity breeds negativity; it doesn’t need to be cultivated. 

But to stay positive and to cultivate positivity, you need to have extreme determination, tenacity, clarity about where you are going and what you are doing. Many people are just ritual oriented with spirituality- they get trained in some programme and they just continue. They think that this is what takes them higher. 

Any practice or path that you take is just a boat to cross the river. If you stay in the boat forever (and you can), you will be entertained but will not reach the destination. It’s important to set the goal. And if the goal is liberation, do not stop at any sensation or anything smaller. Until you stay totally liberated or attain total liberation, do not stop. 

Do you know why we usually do not progress in spirituality? Because we get stuck with sensations. We get stuck with some experiences and we want them to happen all the time. If we see colours during meditation, we expect the colours to come each time. It shouldn’t, it need not- you might have evolved further. Just like a river, keep flowing. 

And whatever twists and turns happen, just flow. This is fundamentally spiritual growth. Then you reach a stage where you are totally peaceful, totally at ease. There is no expectation, contamination or agenda, and it will reach a stage of total bliss at any point in time, any place. 

There’s one thing you must definitely understand when you are walking the path of spirituality. There is nothing to learn, there is only to unlearn. Whatever you want to become, you already had. And what prevents you from this understanding, is the mind. 

If you clearly understand this idea, half the war is won. All that you are unlearning is what you have acquired from here. If you decide to be flexible, if you decide to flow like a river, you will 100% eventually reach your destination.

Q: Suppose we feel that a person is annoying us for a long time and anger has accumulated to the point of boiling stage. Then for our own release of that emotion, is it ok to e.g. go into the car and shout it out into the ether so that we do not harm that person, but nevertheless let it out of our system?

A: I would rather take it head on, this is my habit. I normally never like going elsewhere or diverting it. I like to face things head on, address things head on and sort it out at that point in time. Do you know why? Because its trace is settled. There are three ways to handle every situation: emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.

Spiritually, you will not even be affected. You may not even know that this guy is abusing you.

Intellectually, you will say, “He is expressing his character. My character is different. I need not respond.’’ You have every right to express your character, your constitution and your mindset. And if you are established in spirituality, your only expression will be love, compassion. 

And hatred, jealousy, these are all sicknesses. As a doctor, how will you treat a sick man? The same way you are treat a person who is suffering all this. With a “Can I help you?’’ One man was abusing another man. He was calling him donkey, monkey, useless, stupid… So the other guy was calling him, “You orange, you apple, you plum.’’ 

So one guy asked him, “Don’t you hear? He is abusing you in very bad language.’’ He said, “He is expressing his character, I’m expressing mine.’’ This is possible, this is from the intellect.

If you have a need to express any kind of negative or low emotions, understand there is a weakness. If you feel unaffected with whatever happens outside of your body, in the society, in the environment, or in the workplace, understand you are strong. This is an expression of a still mind, a mind which is satiated, which is clean, which is pure, and which is fully established in truth.

Q: If one is unfair to me, and I see through it, and that it stayed in me biting me from the inside, I would like that it doesn’t touch me at all, but it nevertheless does. Why would I unnecessarily be bothered? What could I do to be peaceful and not affected by it?

A: I handled corporate business for many years. It is always said, when you are at the top of the company, you are always lonely. There could be poisonous snakes inside and outside the office. I always used to handle them head on. 

I tell them I understand their problem, or I understand their ways; I could be pretty dangerous if they want me to go in that way. I sometimes challenge them. I say, “You do whatever you like, but you must be able to stand what I do.

If you are able to stand, then let’s have a deal.’’ It works. Mostly the manipulative people are cowards. They cannot look eye to eye. They shiver. So, the moment you are stronger, they go underground. I’ll give you one example from my professional life.

I was the country manager of the company in the early 2000s in Sultanate of Oman. We used to handle car carriers and oil tankers. So my standard instruction to my operation team was that which tanker comes first is boarded first. This is the standard instruction. They do not have to check with me which shift to board first. 

Once I was attending the conference in Hong Kong, I had a paper to present and I was talking in the programme and I was very busy that day. So I saw a lot of missed calls from my office. Normally this guy calls me from the office only in the case of emergency. 

I went into the office and called the manager of operations and asked, “What’s the problem?’’ Then he said, “There is an instruction from my head office in Dubai that we should board a particular vessel first, even though it has not come first. What should we do?’’ “I’m responsible.’’ I said. “Follow my instruction. 

Don’t follow anybody else’s instruction. Just follow ethics in business.’’ So the operation manager went ahead and boarded the first vessel first. Instead of flying home directly to Muscat, I flew to Dubai. I went straight to the office. I met this man who was head of Dubai operations, the country manager. I told him, ”You interfere in my work, you take the responsibility. 

If you take the responsibility, you can do this. Otherwise, don’t mess with my work. Let me do my job, you do your job.’’ Ever since I had no problem from Dubai. You know what I mean? Better to face it on and talk straight. It’s not rude. It’s being practical, and it’s 100% ethical. Nobody can say that I did something wrong. 

If it was the other way around, if I had allowed it, this would have undermined my position, as well as position of the operations manager and my staff. They would be disoriented. The point I’m saying is, you can always stay with ethics in business or in any activity in life.

If you are not affected, it surprises the person who is trying to harm you. They may try something more. Otherwise, the best thing is to confront the whole situation head on.

Q: Thank you. Then what about people who are deliberately cynical and manipulative, though I may do what you suggested? Like in “The Antichrist” by Friedrich Nietzsche, what if they persist in this negative intention until they see the effect? And then you have to do something while it keeps bothering you?

A: These manipulative or negative kind of people are working from the level of insecurity. They have to cling onto something for survival, while we don’t have to. Because the white path, the path of liberation is powerful. We are liberated in existence while we are living every moment. 

So, if you continuously express liberation, let them do whatever they like, it doesn’t matter. In the spiritual world also, there are manipulative people. There are people who blame each other, that’s why I said, ”Who is afraid of the truth?’’ I mentioned all this. Either they kill the true master, or they character-assassinate the true master or try both. 

But eventually, truth will always win. So it’s better to always be truthful. Whatever you do, it should not be for a selfish interest. That is power. Real power. The moment we have a selfish interest, we have a manipulative mind, then we have to safeguard ourselves. If we have the intention that it’s good for the people or situations, or being kind by nature, we are powerful.

Let them do whatever they like. We cannot change the situation. Accepting yourself as you are is very important. You can’t be somebody else. As the saying goes, ”All others are taken already.” Ha, ha… You have to be yourself.
Second, accepting the environment which you chose consciously or unconsciously. 

This also you need to accept. These two are essential in everybody’s life, whether you are spiritual, or non-spiritual, it doesn’t matter, but these are realities. You cannot change them.

There’s one more thing. What attracts these things to us? Have you thought about it? What is attracting such situations and such people into our life? There’s something in us which attracts. This is what we must consider. The same thing which attracted me to you, or you to me, similarly, something else attracted this, too.

Number two, think about another thing. ”Can I use this to step higher?” or ”Can I climb higher using the negativities?” This can make you stronger, your will power can be stronger. Use this as a stepping stone for something higher. This is possible as well. So two things. One is introspection, ”What attracts these people?’’ Secondly, negativities are actually good, because they help you to introspect. 

If you do succumb to it, it is powerful. It can help you to take one step forward. You attracted this group to you. This is not a manipulative group. But another set of people who are probably manipulative has also come. So there are various aspects of you in this plane, isn’t it? It’s worth analyzing, and worth detaching from.

You should also remember, whatever you resists, persists because you are energizing it. Which plant grows more? The one which you water and muck more. So here you are energizing a negativity, it will grow very tall.

Q: I agree completely, but what is older, hen or egg? I would absolutely love to let go of this magnetism for this negativity. I’m looking forward to getting up one day and saying, “Wow, it’s gone!’’ But how?

A: I took your anger away. I can also take this away. Remember how angry you were? Now there’s no anger.

Q: (Sighing with relief) Yeah…
A: There are two things to understand.

Number one. Without the learning happening, the thing should not be removed. This is a karmic theory. The learning has to happen. That is why even great masters allow you to go through the process, so that you understand, this is the story. Then they help you. It’s not that they want to test you all the time, but learning has to happen, otherwise there is no progress.

Number two. The moment you surrender, I remove it. Right? That is how you met me. Give full application, surrender whatever you can and tell me what happens in three months time.

Q: What about family members in such relationships?

A: Certain set of souls come together in a family, and you are a part of it to experience a particular set of relationships. If we are talking about manipulative, not so good relationships in this life, it could be your colleague in the office. 

If it is so deep and intense, it could be your relative in your next life. This is how it happens, you cannot avoid it. Whenever there is an emotion overflowing, it definitely creates a destiny. It doesn’t die just like that. It leaves a deep impression in your subconscious, which provokes a new reality. 

It materializes into a new life. Feeling of injustice always leads to anger. Anger leads to further emotions, sometimes guilt. It’s a vicious circle. One leads to the other. And that gets imprinted so deeply in our system, which provokes an experience of that nature.

This is exactly where we have to stop. This is where we need awareness. This is why we need to be connected to the higher vibrations or higher frequencies. When we are connected to higher frequencies, none of these matter. “Ok, this is life, this is happening, I move on.’’ That level of detachment will keep you strong. 

Then you will live your life in a completely different way. You will dare. You will have no idea what fear is. We are too much in a hurry to be a good boy or a good girl in the society, for which we move backwards. We follow other people’s opinions about us. They have no idea who we are. 

They are only looking at the physical form. And our expressions end up deciding who we are. We must understand that even we do not know who we are. This is why it is important to connect to your nature. 

There are some strengths in you which are going to lead you through life, which stay from the birth till death. And there are some weaknesses in you, which if you do not energize too much, they will drop off.

Energize the strengths, and do not energize the weaknesses. It means if you concentrate on your strengths and build upon it, 100% guaranteed you will be successful in life.

And in the case of relatives you don’t have a choice- they have come to your life together as soul mates. All the people who are associating with you in this life are your soul mates, you cannot change them because you took the decision before you started this journey. Let it be. No friction, no resistance. 

But when you are choosing certain friends, choose the friends who elevate you, who will pull your hand and will not judge you. Instead of friends who will constantly talk about other people, and try to drag you down into discussion about people. 

Discussion about people is absolutely nonsensical because they have nothing to do with us- they are not paying our bills. And if you concentrate on holding somebody’s hand and helping them take the next step, your life is worthwhile.

I always say, give more to the world than you have taken from the world. 

Take one decision, ”I’m going to give much more to the Earth, than I have consumed from it.’’ Your life will be a totally different story. We are only demanding from the Earth, we are not giving anything back. This is why we have agonies. We don’t feel. We are asking for more but we should give back more instead. 

And giving to the world is not a big deal, it’s not about money. Actually the most expensive thing which you carry with you is time. Because you have chosen a particular duration for this life, every moment has a value. Spending time is money in real terms, much more important than physical money.

So, when I say, give back more than you take from the Earth, e.g. a small child is crying. You put your hands around the child and say, ”I love you.” Mean it. Not for the sake of pleasing somebody, but from the heart you say, ”I love you.” That is enough, because the child will understand. 

Likewise, you deal with life or the world with love. That itself is a big favour to the Earth. Decide there will be no violence in your thoughts, words, actions, and you’ll consistently express love in every segment. It’s not in spending money, it’s in your attitude, that the Earth is happy.

Whenever you say, ”I love you” to a person who is suffering, your only interest should be his or her happiness. There should be no selfishness. As I was explaining to somebody earlier, when you give something to somebody, whatever you can share, always give with a feeling of gratitude that this person has enhanced my being because he or she accepted it. 

Not because ”I’m better off, and I’m helping”. That should not be the attitude. The attitude should be that of gratitude. That person has made my life better, and I’m grateful for that. So that all the time you are operating in the selfless mood. 

When you are hugging somebody you mean it. Then there is nothing to worry. The moment that we are masking, or the moment we decide to pretend, we have to remember the pretension. The moment we are real and true, there’s nothing to remember. We can be natural. I am telling you to be natural, so the mind is clean.

Transcribed by Biljana Vozarevic
Edited by Aviral Srivastava