The title describes what has been happening in my life for the past couple of months. Transformation is still in the air. I have not reached the destination, but I am here to share what Mohanji’s grace has brought me so far.
The cycle of Mai-Tri Method sessions started when I received a “coincidental” message from my friend, a Mai-Tri practitioner. Almost three months have passed in Mai-Tri ever since. When we started the process, I was really down; I felt as if I was in a dark bubble, with no will to move on. I had forgotten how to smile and laugh; I wasn’t looking forward to waking up from sleep, I was in anxiety 24/7, I just wanted to sleep all time, and I didn’t care about anything happening around me. I was angry. Knowing that suicide is a sin was the only thing that made me hesitate to do it.
It took several sessions for me to feel the difference. There was a lot of anxiety in the beginning. It took time for that to be removed. As recognized during Mai-Tri sessions, there were blockages in the whole body, especially in the heart area and legs. Slowly, I started to feel the difference; I started to smile at least a little if I saw something funny, like a funny movie or anything, which was not happening at all before.
It was seen in Mai-Tri that there were excess thoughts in the head, around my pineal gland. There were layers of blockages that made my mind blurry, stopping me from seeing clearly and making me see everything negatively. This was true; I was seeing everything negatively. I was assured that Mohanji’s Mai-Tri energy would work on it, depending on my receptivity and openness. It took some time for these blockages to be cleared, but after that, I started to feel the difference. My head felt lighter; I could think more clearly and not see everything as bad.
The Mai-Tri method showed that my heart area was full of anxiety, and many sessions were needed for that to be cleared. As the sessions were happening regularly, my anxiety decreased, and I started to gain joy and peace.
Mai-Tri also showed that anxiety was affecting my legs, making me feel fragile and shaky. I felt so much better after the Mai-Tri sessions. I felt my legs stronger and more forceful. I felt more peaceful and could sleep peacefully and feel better after these Mai-Tri sessions.
Not only was there relaxation from my anxiety and visible improvement in my overall physical and mental state, but I understood that through these Mai-Tri sessions, I also got more clarity on some of my patterns. This awareness helped me leave these patterns behind.
The pattern of having prejudices, judging myself and others
I had prejudices and expectations toward my parents. I was unaware that I was expecting parents should provide the child with everything, from a roof over the head to material things. In reality, nobody is obligated to do anything for anyone. Parents can give a roof over their heads and food, and that’s it. They’re not obligated to do anything more than that, and neither is anyone else.
This illusion was making me negative, adding to my anxiety and depression, but when I realized that it was not the reality, I became mentally stronger. Breaking this illusion in my mind made me more grateful for the things I have. Without this in my mind, it became easier to accept people and situations.
The pattern of quitting life
One day during the Mai-Tri session, I started feeling pain around my ankles. I reported this to the practitioner. Mai-Tri showed that this was an old pattern through lifetimes connected to quitting life, stagnation and not wanting to move forward. It reflected in the ankles, and I felt I couldn’t go forward physically or emotionally. I didn’t want to continue with life. After Mai-Tri was done for a few days, I felt better and had no thoughts of quitting life.
The pattern of not expressing emotions
I used to think that saying “I love you” is stupid and shouldn’t be said. From the Mai-Tri session, I received clarity about the blockage of not being able to express kind and loving feelings towards family and close people. I really had difficulties expressing kind emotions to my family and close ones.
Through the Mai-Tri session, I understood the blockage that was causing this lack of expression. After this awareness and guidance from the Mai-Tri practitioner, I could express to my close ones how I really feel about them. All my life, I felt embarrassed to say “I love you” to a family member as if it were a bad word. After saying it to them, I felt relief and light. In this way, Mai-Tri unburdened me from suppression.
Leaving poverty consciousness behind
I was blessed to travel to Serbia, my neighboring country, to visit Mohanji, who happened to be there. On the way to Serbia, I started having nausea and pain in my stomach. It kept occurring periodically; it wasn’t nonstop. One day, while passing near me, Mohanji poked me in the stomach. After a few days, the pain started increasing, nausea reappeared, and it was painful.
It was funny that I didn’t see any meaning in Mohanji poking my belly earlier. But when I heard about the knots, I connected it with this, and I can’t say for sure, but perhaps through that little poke, he helped those deep underlying knots to come up so that they can be ultimately released! I have had this phobia even before, but it is interesting that it manifested as physical pain and nausea only after Mohanji poked me. I don’t make any claims, but this is my experience, and I share my knowledge and understanding.

After doing Mai-Tri sessions, my practitioner asked me if I was doing things like:

– being careful how much I eat, even if I am hungry, so that I don’t waste food

– eating less to save food for the next day       

– feeling guilty in a way to ever ask my parents for anything, even basics like food, e.g. Taking what’s already there or asking for money to buy something.

In Mai-Tri, it was shown that I should practice acceptance. If my parents offered to buy me something, they love me; they want to offer me, so I should accept it and be grateful, not feel guilty. Whatever they can, my parents give, and they are happy to give it to their child. It was I who felt guilty and not able to ask. This blockage of guilt and fear was from my side.
I realized I was doing those things, but I never thought that it would be because of poverty consciousness. Now that I know this, I am aware of those feelings and thoughts. Even now, I am walking on the path of leaving the pattern called poverty consciousness.
Another thing that got mainly solved with Mai-Tri is becoming immune to my parents’ fights. When they used to fight, I would feel depressed and helpless, like I wanted to help but couldn’t. After a sequence of sessions, I got better and better; I felt stronger and more stable to emotionally detach from it, while, of course, I always continued to love my parents.

Tests never end & patterns are persistent: 

The pattern of not accepting and judging myself

I have a habit of always staying away, thinking I am bothering everyone and am a burden to people. In Serbia, while having the time to talk to Mohanji, I told him that my Mai-Tri had begun. I said if Mai-Tri didn’t come to me at that time, I don’t know what would have happened to my life. While saying it, I shed a tear of gratitude. A few days later, Mohanji left, and I returned to Macedonia. 

After a few days at home, patterns kicked back in despite the huge transformation with Mai-Tri. I started rewinding the moment when I had tears in my eyes in front of Mohanji. I started thinking that I shouldn’t have cried in front of him, that this meant I was weak, and that Mohanji doesn’t like weak people.

I thought he judged me for it, and I regret doing that. In fact, this reflected my pattern of judging myself, thinking that I was weak, and not accepting myself. Mohanji’s grace helped me realize it’s another pattern. Mohanji never judges. As a matter of fact, he always says to be natural and be you. He never likes when we suppress desires and spontaneous actions unless when they are harmful to others.

Not even a week had passed after my last Mai-Tri, and all that was cleansed, this pattern still managed to overcome me. Even while writing about this experience, I felt I was not worthy of writing it and was not good enough for it. So, I am still overcoming this.

This part of my experience shows how strong the patterns are and how patterns can pull us back. Mai-Tri can make a huge transformation that no other spiritual practice can do for us. Some patterns or blockages that are rooted deep inside cannot be removed with a practise. Instead, some strong cleansing treatment has to be done. Mai-Tri can help us overcome our patterns, but patterns can come back even after Mai-Tri if we let them. Mai-Tri pulls us out, but we are the ones who have to take steps to stay out of patterns.

Mohanji had never left my hands, even when I thought otherwise. On the path of spirituality, we may think that our Guru doesn’t love us because we don’t love ourselves enough. In fact, his love is unchangeable, and our mind is changeable. My transformation is proof of his love and how much energy he invested in me.

Many times, I experienced thoughts that Mohanji had forgotten me or he judged me. But many times, I also experienced proximity to Mohanji; I got a chance to be near him, but in the times of confusion, my mind forgot all about such moments, so it doesn’t matter how close physically we are to a Master when our mind decides to be negative, it will be negative no matter what we received from the Master. So, it is not about the Master. It is about our state of mind.

Taking Mohanji for granted

A very common habit is ingratitude. The following story, which consists of my conclusion points, is about taking Mohanji for granted.

I was with friends, and one of the people discovered through another person that Mohanji spoke 2-3 words about her with kindness. This was the first time she had heard of it. It was so big for her that she couldn’t believe it, and she asked multiple times if this was true. Her reaction got me thinking. 

The person’s reaction made me feel such gratitude that I got so much from Mohanji – each word, each hug, each minute in his presence, cherishing them like gold. It helped me become aware of the grace that I have been given. At moments the mind might have made me forget that just seeing Mohanji is a big deal, especially getting words from him. I will strive never to forget this and always try to respect each moment in the future.

In conclusion, this was not my first Mai-Tri experience; I had experienced it before. I was a positive person; I was working on myself. It wasn’t always dark, but my patterns managed to drag me down and overcome me, control me. I didn’t recognize it until one day when I was down. I was not aware of the patterns I had. This time, with intense Mai-Tri, it went really deep. We got to diagnose the patterns, and with diagnosis, I can move ahead easier.

Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 22nd June 2021

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