Communication is more than exchanging words—it’s an art that shapes relationships, reflects our inner state, and determines how lightly we move through life. In this profound teaching, Mohanji explores the subtle layers of expression, emotional awareness, and the value of silence. He explains why speaking less helps us avoid guilt, regret, and unnecessary conflicts, and how conscious communication leads to deeper connection, inner stability, and grace. Whether you wish to improve your relationships, reduce emotional reactivity, or cultivate peaceful presence, this message offers a transformative guide to “speaking less, hurting less, and living light.” Dive into Mohanji’s wisdom and learn how to communicate with clarity, kindness, and conscious intention.
Introduction
Every moment, knowingly or unknowingly, we are expressing what we are with this world, and the world sees it. Beautiful relationships and maintaining them are an art. One of the vital requirements for that is communication. Communication is an art. Whether knowingly or unknowingly, when we communicate indifferently, we hurt people.
We hurt sentiments. We hurt or wound minds. We should understand and always be aware. You should treat others how you like to be treated, but don’t expect because people are bundles of their past. They are carrying the wounds of their past.
We do not know what wounds they are carrying. What was their past? We don’t know. So what we can do is to set an example individually that we communicate to the best of our ability with a conscious awareness that we should not wound anybody. Even if you want to talk intensely to scold…
Love as the Foundation
If the root of it, the base of it, the platform from which you are talking is love, it’s okay. They will not feel hurt because you’re scolding out of love. If it is from hatred, then you are also getting wounded. You are getting wounded as you speak harshly. Not only are the others, but you are also a factor.
And the more you use, the more depressed you become. Your self-esteem will be a factor. So it’s very important not to hurt yourself and others. People are people. They are all expressing what they are in the world.
They can’t do anything else. They are unable to be something else like you. If you expect a different behaviour from another, one that you like, that’s foolishness. It won’t happen. It cannot happen because they are unique beings, unique character, unique combination, unique constitution.
Understanding Uniqueness
Uniqueness is their strength, and they will respond to the world only as they are. And that also changes with moods, with situations, with experiences, with time, with age. Everything changes. We cannot ever express uniformity in anybody. So communication is an art, and it should be well mastered.
Self-Awareness in Speech
You need to spend time. Ask yourself:
1. Are you talking without thinking?
If yes, start thinking or start being aware while you’re talking. Let your mind be present while you’re talking.
If your mind is absent, don’t talk. Stop talking.
2. Are you reacting or responding?
Usually, if you are reacting, you are using emotions as your tool of communication, and usually, the result would be regret.
Do you want that?
Regrets make you heavy. Guilt makes you heavy. We don’t need that. We can actually be very light by just choosing not to talk where you are not expected to talk or maintaining silence as an option rather than an argument. Discussing, not arguing.
Usually, weak people argue. Insecure people argue. They are eager to prove themselves. Otherwise, there is nothing to prove. Just be.
Know When to Walk Away
Just be yourself. Nobody is expecting you to be somebody else. If they do, they don’t know you, and they don’t care about you, or they do not need your company. Leave places where you are unwanted. This will be a big favour to yourself.
If you continuously engage in conversations consciously or unconsciously, you will be drained after a while.
Talk less.
Observe more.
Feel more.
Understand the environment more.
Try to understand the person where they are coming from so that you can choose whether to respond or not respond. Never react.
That’s dangerous because it leaves regret and guilt.
Brevity and Clarity
Now, many times we may not be understood, but tell anyway what you have to tell briefly and clearly and walk away. That will have more impact than trying to prove a point by standing there when you are not wanted or when you are not welcome. So brevity and clarity in conversation are very important.
Argument has no life. It only leaves bad energy.
Response with kindness always has an impact. It bonds people. It unites people.
Whenever your expressions are unkind, do not express.
Don’t talk.
Stop.
Handling Anger
If you are really angry and upset about some situation, diffuse the situation by walking away from it, come back and solve it. While the situation is heating up, if you pour your oil into it, it will flare up further.
The best thing to do is to stay away temporarily, which is not escapism, and come back and solve it at your time.
When you know the situation is much better for communication.
Judgement-Free Communication
Good communication is when you don’t judge others. You don’t criticise others. You don’t gauge others.
You can talk to people as you talk to yourself. You should also talk in the mirror and look at your face when you are angry, when you are upset, when you are loving. See in the mirror how you look and understand this is what the world is seeing.
Spend some time in front of a mirror and start talking. Imagine the mirror is different people and how you are talking to different people.
This brings awareness:
“Oh, this is how I am responding. This is how I’m reacting. This is how I’m talking. This is how I am hurting…”
The moment you realise that you will be able to correct things much easily.
Silence on the Raja Yoga Path
In our path, the Raja Yoga path, silence has a lot of value.
When you don’t need to talk, you don’t need to talk, and that’s fine.
When you think your voice is not heard, you should not talk. That’s fine.
You can decide, gauging the situation, whether you should talk or not, whether you should respond or not respond.
When should you actually talk?
When there is receptivity.
When the world around you is not receptive, the best thing to do is to maintain silence. Not in an insulting way, but in a kind of enthusiastic way. It means you are listening, but you are not talking.
Quiet People Earn Respect
People who are quiet and people who are silent and do not speak unnecessarily are always respected.
Those who blabber too much spill their beans everywhere, and they are usually not so respected.
The Grace Factor
The less you talk you can experience the grace factor because you are not using your emotions. The more you talk, the more you will enter into the zone of emotions.
The less you talk, the more you will be using your intellect.
When you use your intellect in your conversations, there won’t be regrets or guilt.
Because you are in charge; you are firm.
When you use your emotions during conversations, you don’t know what you’re talking and it’s usually absent-minded blabber, and that leaves regrets, guilt.
Never Hurt People—Knowingly or Unknowingly
If your communication hurts anybody, this is bad communication.
Stop that immediately.
You should look around and see how many people you are hurting knowingly or unknowingly.
If it is knowingly, definitely you must stop.
If it is unknowingly, you must be aware.
And there is no second chance for many relationships.
Once wounded, they never come back.
There is no return of time.
This Life, This Communication, This Day Matters
When time goes it never comes back. It has to be another life. So this life is very important. This day is important. This time is important.
This communication is important.
This life is important.
A Practice That Leads to Maturity
Start observing how you speak.
Look into the mirror.
Look at the faces of people, which are mirrors of the world and see how your presence is affecting them.
Are they happy or sad? You can easily change it by smiling, by talking with kindness.
Stop talking when you are not kind, when you are not in the mood, or not responding when you are not expected to respond.
Moving Into a New Year
From now onwards, a new year is coming.
I would like to see all of you happy with your communication and people around you like you to be around because you talk well, you feel well, you communicate well, you understand well, and also you respond well.
No reactions.
No anger.
I’m not asking you to suppress your anger. You can express it, and you say that at this point, “I would not like to talk further. We’ll talk about it later.”
Anger gets diffused. Your removal from that situation diffuses the anger.
If you really have to say something because you are angry, say so, but without emotions being added to it. Just use your intellect and tell:
“Look here, I’m not happy. I’m not accepting this. I will not be responding to it. I’m out of this.”
That would be a good enough message.
Self-Sabotage and the Inner World
Your reaction only aggravates situations, and often it becomes self-sabotaging.
When you self-sabotage, huge guilt and regret are on the other side. And people do that repeatedly in their lives because they haven’t sorted themselves out, not because of the world outside.
We can easily blame the world outside.
But the outside world is just a reflection of our inside world.
We get what we are.
Conclusion
Remember this always.
Lots of love.
This is Mohanji for you.
Listen to this podcast here.
Mohanji Speaks channel is also available on Spotify and Apple.
Transcribed and proofread by Biljana Vozarevic